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9 easy steps to help you write your own wedding vows

Step 1: Read examples for inspiration
Jump online and google personal wedding vows or check out our page called "examples of personal vows." If any of the examples resonates with you then use it as inspiration for your own vows. Consider what type of style you are after - light hearted, formal, religious and go from there! The more examples you can pull from, the easier it will be to write your own.

Step 2: Read examples for inspiration
Jump online and google personal wedding vows or check out our page called "examples of personal vows." If any of the examples resonates with you then use it as inspiration for your own vows. Consider what type of style you are after - light hearted, formal, religious and go from there! The more examples you can pull from, the easier it will be to write your own.

Step 3: The right tone.
Discuss with your fiance what type of tone you both will write in and how long you want each person to speak for. You don't want to pour your heart out with tear jerking sentimental vows only to have your partner take a more humorous approach. I recommend you write your vows separately that way there is a genuine moment on the day for your photographer to capture. From experience, a healthy balance between light heartedness and romantic always does the trick.

Step 4: Come up with your promises.
They are called vows for a reason - this is the part where you 'vow' to your partner what you are offering in marriage. The best way to come up with promises is start with the obvious ones - I vow to love you unconditionally, no matter if we are fighting or laughing. I vow to appreciate and be grateful for who you are and what you bring to our relationship. Speak from the heart and you can never go wrong.

Step 5: Come up with your promises.
They are called vows for a reason - this is the part where you 'vow' to your partner what you are offering in marriage. The best way to come up with promises is start with the obvious ones - I vow to love you unconditionally, no matter if we are fighting or laughing. I vow to appreciate and be grateful for who you are and what you bring to our relationship. Speak from the heart and you can never go wrong.

Step 6: Draft time.
Now that you have your examples, established a tone, wrote down your vows, its time to do a draft of it all. You can always cull or elaborate further but getting all your ideas down on paper first will help you work out if you have said everything you want to say. Remember when writing that you want to stick with easy to say words. As a general guide - try Robert Lehrman's four part outline: Affirm your love, praise your partner, say your promises and close with a final heartfelt vow.

Step 7: Practice out loud and time yourself.
Often when we write, we take a more formal approach which doesn't translate well when you have to read it out loud. Make sure you eliminate any words that you struggle with in the practice round and time yourself to keeping your vows to less than 5 minutes.

Step 8: Get a friend/celebrant's advice.
Its always good to bounce your vows off an independent party. Once you are happy with your vows, practice them in front of one of your friends or send them over to me and I will be able to tell you if I see any problems with them. Now there is nothing left to do but to make yourself a copy and a second copy just in case and keep it in a safe place.

Step 9: Print it out.
By now your draft vows have probably seen a few edits. Make sure you have a clean copy ready for the day - this is a service I offer for the couple, I print out the vows and mount them on palm card (sometimes it gets windy and having paper flapping around is not ideal. I will bring these on the rehearsal day - providing you have sent me a copy and you can decide to keep it on you or I will pass it to you on the day.)